| "Life Is Full Of Happiness And Sadness - |
| Whenever Life Is Full." |
THE MAGIC LIFE - A Novel Philosophy
by Ace Starry
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Chapter 8
After a quick shower and shave, I put on my best silk blazer with a new pair of pleated slacks and Polo shirt, better than wearing the old standby, my navy blazer and khaki slacks. Reaching for some cologne, I wondered what would be right to induce the proper mood. Then it dawned on me. What mood? What was going to happen? I wasn’t going to be seducing anyone! I was supposed to find out who Gina thought sent her the roses. But I already knew who she thought did – me! And I already knew who did – me!
What would I say to her on this date that wasn’t a date? Mr. Lee had already determined that it was just a get together for a drink after work. Yes, I wanted her, but I also knew that I just couldn't throw away my career. Her dad may not have me thrown out on the streets, but I was up for partnership review this year. Although I really cared about her, I knew that it was in my best interests to not see her again; we would have to just be friends. I’d just have to tell her we were only friends. That was that.
I reiterated this plan over and over to myself, all the way out the door, into the car, and driving to her house. However, when she opened her door my mental train derailed and suddenly I forgot all about my terrific non-involvement plan.
She was lovelier than I had ever imagined possible. Wearing a back-less black satin dress, her golden hair was pulled up revealing her soft neckline wrapped by a single strand of pearls. She looked and smelled of sweet seduction. I had never seen her wearing anything like this and I liked it. I liked it a lot. She smiled, turned a circle holding the dress out to her side like a dancer, saying, "Hi there, sailor, new in town?"
My eyes must have been popping out of my head and my mouth gaping open. It was obvious that I’d never seen her looking like this before. All that I could muster was a long pause and a, "Hi."
She took hold of my hand and stepped out of the doorway, pulling the door shut behind her. "You look and smell marvelous, James. I don't know if I want to go eat dinner or you," she said with a chuckle. Then she laughed and added, "Oh, I didn't mean for that to come out the way it sounded. I just mean that you look great."
Obviously I had picked the right cologne.
"You look absolutely stunning," I said, at last able to complete a full thought without rambling.
"Thank you, James. And I want you to know that I think that you are the most handsome man that I have ever met," she said. "Of course, I've never met Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, or even Mel Brooks, for that matter."
I was glad to see that she still maintained a sense of humor even while she looked ravishing. We both laughed and I opened the car door for her. I was kind of quiet, even for me. At a loss for words on the drive to the restaurant, I felt kind of awkward. I kept thinking things like: I should have washed the car, and did I remember to brush my teeth? I found myself even wondering if my socks matched.
"James, you sure are quiet. Don't be so shy. I’m still just me, Gina. I’m the same person who wears blue jeans and a T-shirt that you always tease at work," she said.
"I'm sorry, I do seem a little nervous, I guess. I don't know why," I evaded, more than just a little nervous. Usually I didn’t get this nervous on dates, but I knew that Gina and I really had potential and I didn’t want to blow it.
"Well, don't be nervous. I won't bite you – yet," she said, as she pushed up the armrest and scooted across the seat. Then reaching over, she lifted up my arm around her shoulders and kissed me on the cheek. That helped relax me a bit – a lot.
With a surge of confidence from her actions, I said, "Thanks, I needed that." I squeezed her shoulders in close to me. She smiled. Fantastic. Maybe I need to relax, keep my thoughts in the present, not concentrating so much upon the past or future. My thoughts were graced with a tingle up my spine and I knew it was the right thing to do.
We pulled up to the Palace, probably the most chic and ostentatious place in Austin. Just the drive up into the long circular driveway, around the flowing fountains, past the Rolls and Lamborginis to get to valet parking, was an experience for most. If you weren't a state legislator or senator, you normally would have to wait a week to get a reservation. Luck must have been on my side or I wouldn't have succeeded with such little notice.
We approached the uniformed doorman and exchanged good evenings. He opened the doors as if he were presenting royalty. When we entered, I understood why. The restaurant was extremely elegant. Huge windows overlooked the lake; grand crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling; each table sported a complete service of fine china and crystal glasses in place. All were covered with starched white linen tablecloths, adorned with a different colorful floral centerpiece, and came complete with a smiling waiter in a tuxedo, attached.
A large flowing fountain centered it all, and beyond, the rear windows overlooked the valley with a grandiose view of the lake and the city in the distance. A string quartet was softly playing chamber music in the corner. The scent of the flowers filled the whole restaurant. Our arrangement, coincidentally, was a bouquet of four dozen red roses.
"Oh, James, isn't this just beautiful?" Gina said as the maitre d' showed us to our table. We did, indeed, have one of the best tables with a beautiful view of the city.
"I had heard so many good things about this place, but it’s more elegant than I ever imagined. Thank you again for bringing me," Gina said.
We then exchanged some more small talk concerning the ambiance of the restaurant. I was almost afraid that we'd run out of conversation, but the waiter was soon there and I took the privilege of ordering the wine. Gina was somewhat impressed by my expertise. Fortunately, I had prepared myself for just such an occasion, years ago, by attending an adult education class on fine wine tasting. But I had almost never used the knowledge that I had gained from it and up until that moment thought that it was a waste of sixty bucks. The nearest to ordering a fine wine for me was a trip to the Ale House to pick from the ninety-eight different varieties of beer. At the time I took the class I hoped to meet someone like Gina. Who would have thought that it would have taken this long to have the opportunity to order a decent bottle of wine?
I completed all the proper moves, viewing the label, sniffing the cork, trilling the wine, and finally the ubiquitous approval. With all of the formalities that go with such a high class culinary excursion out of the way, Gina spoke up, "James, I want to know more about you. Tell me about yourself."
"Well," I said, wondering if my life would ever be the same after tonight, "I don't really know where to start, or what to say."
"You can start by telling me about your past, I guess. You know that I don't really know much about it, after our one date in high school."
"Well, after high school I went to school at the University of Texas, where I studied accounting..."
"I am not asking for a resume, James; I want to know about you," she said. "Tell me about your family. Let's talk about your dreams and aspirations. Tell me about where you want to be in ten years. Tell me who you really are. What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"And to think that for a few moments I thought we weren't going to have anything to talk about," I said laughing, practically overwhelmed by all of the questions. At the same time I couldn't help being pleasantly awed by the coincidental nature of being asked, who I was and what I wanted to be.
It was great to see that Gina truly did have an interest in me, the real me. But something inside of me still held back. I wanted to talk to her about the inner me, about my recent experiences with Max, and how it had reawakened my dreams of being a magician. I wanted to tell her about my feelings, that I was missing something in my life, and how I wasn’t really fulfilled at work. But, I didn’t want to freak her out with the stuff about Max. And I’m sure it wouldn’t have been the greatest career move to tell the boss’ daughter that I couldn’t stand my job.
So, I took a more conservative approach. "I’m just a normal guy: I like sports; I drink beer. But I guess that I’m not stereotypical because I like to go to the theater and the symphony too. I really like a lot of different things," I said, knowing that it probably sounded wimpy and boring. I apologized, "I’m sorry, it just seems so hard to start off talking about myself."
"Well then, tell me about your family, I don’t remember if you have any brothers and sisters," she said. "I want to know what I’m getting into here."
"Well, for starters, I guess I can tell you that I have a younger brother, Carl. He hates when I call him my little brother. He is a twenty-five-year-old struggling actor out in Hollywood who actually believes he’s the good-looking one. Carl has never really made the big time, but he’s done a couple of commercials. He’s always doing some kind of play or something, waiting tables on the side to keep afloat. However, he recently landed a part in a TV series, which he says should make him a household name. Who knows? Maybe I’ll have a famous brother some day. You would like him; he’s a real nut at times. He’s a ham, just like my father..." I paused, trying to recall if I had ever told her that my father was deceased.
"What’s your father like?" she asked.
"My father died when I was in my early teens, of cardiac arrest. It was rather unexpected."
"I'm very sorry. I forgot," she said, but rather than dwell on a possible faux pas she pushed forward. "I don't know what I would do if it weren't for my father. He’s the greatest. What about your mother?"
"Oh yes, Mom is still very much alive. She lives in Houston, so I visit her about once or twice a month. Every time I do she says the same thing, too. ‘Are you married yet?’" I said and laughed, hoping that I wasn't making any improper insinuations.
"Tell me, why isn't a catch like you married?" Gina asked.
So much for my insinuations. "I guess that no one will have me," I answered. "At least that’s what I tell my mother."
Gina leaned forward and asked, "What is the real reason? You aren’t one of these guys that is afraid of commitment, are you?"
"Oh, no, I am looking to be committed. Ha, ha. That really sounded stupid. Well, what I meant to say is that sometimes I think that maybe I’m not really happy with myself. I’ve had a couple of relationships, but they just didn’t seem to work out. How can you be happy with someone else if you haven't got it together for yourself?"
Gina answered, "You could let the other person help you get yourself together; I think marriage is all about sharing the good and bad. Too many people wait for life to be perfect before they start to enjoy it. At least that’s what I believe," she said. "Besides, you really seem to have it all together. You have a great job. You have great looks. You have a great sense of humor."
"Funny, I tell myself the same thing," I said. "But, somehow I feel that I’m missing something."
"What?" she asked, leaning forward.
About to answer her, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a person approaching the table wearing a white tuxedo. Before I could look up, he spoke and I immediately recognized his voice. Once again I was slipping into the Twilight Zone. Every time he showed up, my world became more unreal.
"Good evening, madam and sir. Allow me to introduce myself," he said. "I am the amazing, astounding, and incredible Maximillion Vi. However, you can call me Amazing for short or Max for shorter. I am the house magician this evening. Perhaps you would like to see a little bit of legerdemain, or a paltry amount of prestidigitation, or a conundrum of conjuring. If not, then how about a few magic tricks while you wait for your dinner to arrive?" Max turned his head just enough in my direction to give me a wink without Gina seeing, to remind me that while he was performing I was not to reveal that I knew who he was.
I thought to myself, "Who he was indeed!" This was not just a mere coincidence. I might as well just sit back and enjoy. I was just along for the ride now.
"Well, Gina, would you like to see some magic?" I asked.
"You know I love magic. Of course I would," Gina replied.
For the next few minutes he did some of the most incredible illusions and had us laughing all the while he performed.
"Do you like card tricks?" Max asked.
"I love them," Gina replied.
"Well, I wish that I knew one," Max replied. "Then we would both be happy. I suppose I could make up a card trick if I had a deck of cards."
"If you’re really a magician, just make them appear," Gina challenged. I had to agree. But I knew he was too good for that. Max would not have brought cards up at all if he were not prepared in the first place.
"Don't you have any cards I could borrow?" Max asked, directing his question to Gina.
"No," Gina replied.
"Look in your purse just to make sure," he said.
Pulling her purse into her lap, she opened it up. Lo and behold! Inside was a deck of cards with a sticky, yellow, Post-it note stuck to it. The note read: "If I were really a magician, I would make them appear in your purse." Both Gina and I were astounded.
Max proceeded to do some card tricks, each more astounding than the last. After the cards had vanished, he made some little red sponges appear and disappear in Gina's hand. He made coins appear and vanish right in front of our eyes and eventually they passed one at a time through the table and into a goblet which he held under the tablecloth. He ended by pulling a small black and white rabbit out of his top hat. I was still glad it wasn’t the solid black rabbit from my dream. Somehow this bunny seemed more physical and less metaphysical. A good thing since I was trying to get a grip somewhere on the reality of the evening. Not an easy task, the way things were shaping up.
"Magic is like life. It’s simply what you make of it. Some people choose to see distasteful deception while others see awe-inspiring illusion. Still there are those, like James, who see magic and life for what they really are," Max stated directly to me.
"What are they really?" Gina asked of Max.
She wouldn't get a straight answer. But I was as anxious as she was to hear what he would say. Even though she was the one asking the questions, I knew that he was really talking to me.
"What are they, you ask?" said Max. "Amazing!"
"That's not much of an answer," Gina said.
"I guess that depends on how really amazing magic and life are, don't you think?" Max asked with a smile and a wink in my general direction.
I could read volumes into what he had said, but now I wondered if I was reading too much into everything. Maybe I was giving more credit to what was happening with him than I should. After all, his tricks were just that, tricks that I had seen other magicians perform in other restaurants. I even knew how he did some of them. A few were very similar to those I’d seen in my handbook and I could probably perform them myself with a little bit of practice and training. Yet, I didn't know how Max got the deck of cards into Gina's purse without my seeing. That was impossible – that one had me stumped.
He then placed his hands out in front of us, cupping his empty palms together. "Allow me to look into the future for this evening." When he opened his hands he revealed a small crystal ball that now filled them.
"Look at that, James," Gina said. "Okay, magician, tell us our future."
If anyone could foresee the future, it was Max, and I was not about to interrupt. I just sat quietly and watched, trying not to put myself into the picture, rather, thinking how marvelous this evening was. Without prejudicing my view (by including all of my own doubts and questions), the events surrounding me did appear really astounding – a significant moment of my life. Gina, Max, the flowers, the fountain, the lake, everything – life had created a beautiful illusion for me.
"Oh crystal ball, I wish to see into the future of James and Gina," Max said as he gazed into the crystal. "Reveal unto me – the future that you see ... I see both of your futures are becoming very intertwined. Fate will play its hand tonight, changing both of your lives, forever."
"Will we live happily ever after?" Gina asked.
"The path to true happiness is a trail blazed by your own heart. Happiness is up to you," he replied.
"What about sadness, will there be any sadness?" Gina asked.
"I know it sounds trite, but without sadness how would you know how to appreciate your own happiness?" Max Vi replied. "How can you even begin to feel alive if you’ve never felt real sadness? Life is full of happiness and sadness – whenever life is full."
"Sounds like pretty standard stuff to me," I said. "You know, I expected some better, more well-defined predictions, from one such as the Amazing Max Vi." After saying it, I realized I must have sounded cocky without really meaning to.
"No one can really predict another person’s future," he said, giving me a rather harsh look and tone of voice. "But, you can influence it. You can change it. Sometimes you can create it. If you don’t create your own future, someone else, or something else, will create it for you. Remember, Jim and Gina, the difference is not in the path that one takes, but the trail that one makes."
Gina – like my protector – chimed in, feeling that the conversation was getting tense. "Amazing? That is what you said to call you, isn't it?" she asked.
Max smiled and said, "You can call me anything you like, any time you want."
"How do you do such magical things?" she asked.
"A magician never tells his secrets, right?" I responded before Max had to.
Then Max continued, "Just if you ask him how; the trick to getting the secret is to ask why?"
"Well then why?" Gina asked.
"Let Jim tell you why," Max replied. "He knows."
"I've just barely figured out what," I said and we all laughed. Only Max and I really understood, but it still sounded kind of funny.
"I’m glad to hear that," Max replied, "It means it’s time for you to work on why." Then the waiter appeared at his side with the table tray. "I'm sorry, but the time has come for dinner to be served and for me to vanish. Thank you both very much, you have been a perfect audience. And I might add that you make a perfect couple." With that he winked, turned, and walked out of view.
As the waiter set the entrées on the table, Gina looked at me questioning, "Is that the magician from the Festival? The one that you know? I know it is. Aren't you going to give the man a tip?"
"Oh yes, thank you, I nearly forgot didn't I?" I reached quickly into my wallet and pulled out a ten-spot as I called over a waiter. "Would you please give this to the magician?"
"Excuse me?" responded the waiter.
I repeated, "I would like to give this tip to your house magician."
"Do you mean the quartet?" the waiter replied.
"No, not musician, I meant the magician," I explained. "You know, the man performing magic tricks at the tables, wearing the white tuxedo."
"Sir, I beg your pardon, but we do not employ any magicians. If there was a magician at your table, well, he was not employed by the restaurant," he said.
Gina remarked, "That is so strange, isn’t it?"
"It’s more strange than you can imagine," I said.
"What do you mean?"
"I believe that it was no coincidence he was here tonight," I said, looking at Gina, wondering if I should tell her the whole story and just how she would take it. "Something really strange is going on here," I added.
"Well, I don't know how, but you're on to me," she said almost boasting. "I admit it; I did it. I knew you liked magic, so when I saw this magician performing last week at another restaurant, I thought that it would be nice for our first date if he came here and performed for us. I offered to pay him fifty dollars, but when I mentioned your name, he said that he would do it for free. That’s why I thought you should tip him."
"You? You did? Wait a minute! You said that you saw him last week. I didn't ask you out until today," I said.
"Oh my gosh, that’s right. Well, I guess that I have a huge confession to make," she said, looking up into the air as if to ask for divine guidance. "This date was not really your idea; it was mine. I made it all happen. Just as the magician said, I created it."
"What do you mean?" I asked, suspecting that I wasn’t the one in control from the very start. After all, all that I had intended to do was just ask her out for a drink. Look what it had turned into.
Gina answered, "I have been waiting for a long time for you to ask me out. At first I thought that you had someone else, then I thought maybe you went gay. But, I know you’re not, and I know you like me. I’ve even tried asking you to ask me out, but you never do. Like when I asked you if you were going to the festival. Finally, I decided that I would just have to get up the nerve and ask you instead," she said. "So this morning, I gave you that one red rose, and I was going to ask you if you got anything special. Then I was going to say that we could celebrate your having a secret admirer by going out. We would come here for dinner and sit at this table with the red roses. When you made the reservations, you didn’t know that I’d already made them under your name.
"Anyway, my plan changed a little, when, while you were out to lunch, I received a dozen roses – I sure hope that they were from you. It was Daddy that actually came up with the real plan. After I told him that you sent me a dozen roses, he suggested that he should call you into the office for a little chat. He said that he would pretend that he was mad and that you should help him find out who sent the flowers. And of course the best way would be to take me out for a drink. Now you know why Daddy and I get along so well. He’s devious, just like me."
"You mean that your father knew about this all along?" I said laughing out loud. "I thought that I was being so cool in his office. He was great. He was really great! I have to hand it to him. I especially liked the part about the Colombian drug dealer."
She gave me a questioning look. "Never mind," I said. "But I thought he really wouldn't let anyone who works for him date you. Mark even showed me the memo."
"Oh, no, you heard that? Serves me right, I guess … I was the one who made up that rule," Gina said. "That was just so I wouldn't be hit on by every Tom, Dick and Harry with an accounting degree and lead in his pencil. But you’re different from the rest; you're the exception. I kept wanting you to ask me out, but you wouldn't," she said, her lips pouting.
"I think that you’re about the most cunning, calculating individual I’ve ever met," I said, shaking my head in disbelief. "Let me restate that. You are the most beautiful, calculating individual that I have ever met. This will have to go down as the strangest date of all time. Maybe even the best date of all time."
"Well, maybe the second best?" she said reaching into her purse. "Here I brought something to show you."
Out of her purse, she shyly pulled a small silver-framed photograph, which she glanced at briefly and smiled. When she turned the frame for me to see, I couldn’t help chuckling just a little at the two awkward teenagers, frozen for posterity on the Kodak paper. There we were: Gina in her frilly, white, southern-belle gown complete with hoop skirt and parasol, me in my rented gray tuxedo with tails and ruffled shirt, both surrounded by an imitation starlit night – a hundred cardboard stars, covered with tin foil, hanging on strings. "Wow, this is amazing, I’ve never seen this before."
"You probably don’t remember, but when we ordered them we had them both sent to me. Well, I promised back then that I’d give one to you on our next date. Since you never called me, I just held on to it. Eventually it went into my keepsake box. Yesterday, my Mom and I were talking and she remembered it, so I went rummaging through my memorabilia, and well, here it is. That’s for you to keep, James. It has taken awhile, but I guess I kept my promise."
"Thank you, Gina," I said, "This is really terrific! I don’t really know what to say."
"Well, you could tell me why on earth you never called me," she said punching me softly on the shoulder in jest.
"I am beginning to wonder that myself," I said, cradling the photo carefully for one last look before placing it into my jacket pocket.
Gina paused, waiting for more of an answer, "Well?"
"I don’t know, maybe I was shy … maybe I was just afraid that you didn’t really like me," I said.
"Why?" Gina asked, "I was nuts about you."
"Well, the one thing that I can remember is that when we said goodbye I was going to kiss you goodnight and instead you stuck out your hand for the old handshake."
"Oh, that," Gina lamented, "I can explain that. It wasn’t anything to do with you. It was because of my father. When you and I were on the front porch saying goodnight, I could see Daddy peeking out the living room window," she laughed. "He always told me that good girls don’t kiss on the first date. I was afraid that he would embarrass me something awful and I didn’t want you to see him either, James. I had the biggest crush on you. I didn’t know what to do, so I shook your hand. When you didn’t ever call me after that night, I must admit that I was pretty devastated."
"That was a long time ago, wasn’t it? I can’t believe I didn’t call you either, I’m sorry," I said, "but, we’re here tonight."
"Well, I’ll tell you one thing," Gina said taking my hand across the table, "I did make Daddy promise that he wouldn’t be peeking out the window tonight."
"You’re too much," I said and we both laughed.
The rest of dinner was fantastic. We had waiters making a fuss over us as we made a fuss over each other. The conversation covered everything from high school days, both of our ambitions and dreams, to Daddy's golf game. Gina was everything that I had ever imagined, exciting, loving, smart, caring and fun. She was amazing. Why did I wait so long? After all the flirting, kidding, and joking back and forth – after years of denial – it was self-evident, I loved her then and I loved her now.
When the time came to call it a night, I knew where I wanted this evening to go. That kiss, the one I had planned on the elevator for a year, was going to finally materialize and I was going to reveal my true feelings.
As we walked out of the restaurant, wrapped arm in arm, looking up to a genuinely beautiful starlit night, listening to the sounds of the gushing fountains, it all came to a crashing halt. The next few seconds passed in slow motion.
Walking over to the valet, handing him my ticket, I heard the screech of braking tires. Turning quickly to the sound, I saw a car jump the curb and the doorman leaping out of harm's way. The skidding Mercedes glanced off the key booth, sideswiping the concrete columns at the entry making a loud, grinding clash. It missed my torso, but my arm slammed into the side mirror as the car passed, ripping my coat from my shoulder and flinging the framed photo out into the street where it shattered on impact. Gina, however, was standing directly in front of the car. It’s bumper smashed into Gina's legs which buckled from under her. Gina’s body flew across the hood of the car. Her head and body came to a crushing stop, smashing against the car's windshield.
I grabbed my right arm, soaked with blood where the mirror had torn my jacket, and sprinted to the car where Gina lay motionless on the hood. Her legs were twisted under her body, obviously broken. She bled from the back of her head, which now made a circular indentation into the shattered safety glass. Searching desperately for something to stop the bleeding, I yanked at my coat to take it off only to find my sleeve impaled into the gash in my arm. When I tugged the material, I felt a tremendous pain. I yelled in pain, "Agghh," as I ripped off the sleeve caught in my own muscle tissue. The pain was immense, but taking a deep breath I proceeded to pull the jacket free, screaming at the doorman through my clenched teeth, "Call an ambulance!"
The driver, a woman, cut across the chest and face, stumbled out of the car, toward me. Crying hysterically she sobbed, "Oh, my God. Oh my God!"
I felt faint, knowing I was about to black out. I tried to pull the glass away from Gina's head without moving her body, pressing my jacket up against the wound in the back of her neck. It was then that I realized that she was not breathing. Everything seemed to be caving in. My vision narrowed as if I were viewing the situation through a closing tunnel. I blacked out.
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